With you I’m not very good at expressing myself,

I can write beautifully, soliloquies and sonnets about the first boy I ever loved.

And explain to you how the big bang theory was based on my heart.

As we talked for 365 days, we learned that growing up

We were never thought how words could freely flow from mind   out into the world.

But somehow, somewhere around day 182 we found a comfort in consoling each other.

or so it seemed.

But like a bad seed,

Growing in a  beautiful flower bed,

it would eventually bloom into something ugly,

destroying what was once picturesque

There must have been some doubt,

some bad thought, which through my star loved eyes I could not see.

Because  on the 6th of September he called to say;

“It’s not you, its me, I just don’t have any room in my life right now”

Ironic that I have always loved, the cliché of romantic movies.

The silence was deadly,

it killed slowly like chlorine gas for over a year,

For over a year there was anxiety attacks,

breathing problems and sleepless nights  to name but a few.

You might think its pathetic to complain,

but I’m glad I fell in love with a boy,

because my world would not handle being shattered by a man.